Dear Emalyn,

My sweet Emi! I love you so. Every morning when you call my name because you are up and ready for the day, reminds me you are just one day older. I have so enjoyed seeing who you are becoming! Your personality, likes and dislikes, compassion and attitude, are all rolled into one little girl. Sometimes, I feel like I am not the mother I want to be. I have so many desires for you and I! Things to experience in life together. And even just the day to day lunches that we share at our dining room table. I'm storing these memories one by one. I wonder if you can see the stress that I feel sometimes when I am not getting house chores done. I wonder if you know how much I love to sit and play whatever it is you want to play, even if we've done the same thing ten times over. I wonder if you know how much you mean to me being my first child, my first daughter. My child who I will always experience everything with for the first time in my life as a parent. I wonder if you know how imperfect I feel to be your mother but strive so hard each day to show you what it means to receive grace, mercy, ask forgiveness and know Jesus.

I wonder if you know how much I cannot stop thinking about you! You bring a smile to my face and an excitement I never knew existed until I had you in my arms. Please stay there. As long as you can. In my arms. It's harder now these days to keep you there. Because you are full of adventure and new ideas! Which I love so very much about you! But you still run into my arms and whisper secrets in my ear "I love you mom!" I wonder if you know what a great big sister you are to Kendra and how I am so thankful Kendra has someone like you to look up to and call you her sister.

I wonder if you know what a blessing you are to me. What a joy you are! How you lift my spirits and help me to be a better mom. I wonder if you can see Jesus when you look at me. I wonder if some day you will call Him your Saviour. I wonder if someday you will be a mom and you will experience this amazing adventure! My sweet daughter, I could write on and on about all the thoughts and joys I experience with you. I know that every day spent with you is a gift. A gift I continue to unwrap all the time! I love you so very much! And even though the days can be long and sometimes hard, I always miss you after I close your door and say good night. But I know I get to keep you the rest of my life!